28 Before 28: Get a Facial

In my 28th year of life, I’m attempting to do 28 new things. Full list here.

For the “Get a Facial” item on my list, I didn’t think much about it other than knowing that it is supposed to be relaxing. I bought a Groupon, and after weeks of working a ton of overtime and dealing with general life stress, I decided to treat myself. I had picked a small Asian spa in my neighborhood about two blocks from my apartment.

I show up to a spa which is a renovated office. Each spa room a former cubicle. As the tiny Asian girl leads me into my room, I realize I have no idea what a facial consists of or what is about to happen to me. I lay down on the cot in my cubicle and wait. My mind drifted to an existential state of “What am I actually doing here?” and “Why do people get facials?” and, of course, “I’d rather be reading my book right now.”

Eventually the lady came in and began my facial. Soooo, it’s just a face massage. They put lotions and whatnot on your face and then massage your face. It felt nice, but I’ve never been stressed or tired and thought that I wanted my face to get rubbed. On this particular day, my shoulders, back, and legs were killing me from working a 55 hour work week on my feet. But my face felt fine. After the face massage, she put some sort of lotion and mask on me and told me to wait there for about 20 minutes. She went to the next cubicle over to call someone on speakerphone. I listened to them yell at each other in some Asian language, worried that in the midst of relationship drama, my facial lady would forget the poor white girl in the cubicle over.

She did return, though. And it was about five more minutes of her trying to sell me a gamut of different facial treatments.

“I guess you have fine skin.”
“Yeah, I guess I do.”
“I can put some sunscreen on? You very pale?”
“Okay.”

I tipped her and left. I feel as though I found yet another thing that is something most girls enjoy that I consider a waste of my time and money. That’s an hour of reading I could have gotten done. That’s money that could have bought beers and some jalapeno poppers at a bar with friends. I doubt there will be any more facials in my future.