May 26, 2011

I work Monday through Thursday, so on this Thursday my boss was asking me what I was planning for Memorial Day weekend. I told her how I was going to Boston.

“You can’t miss Fleet Week?!” she exclaimed at me.

Fleet Week is a New York City event where the navy docks a ton of boats on the Western side of Manhattan and a bunch of sailors roam the streets. I was really looking forward to it but had no idea that it was going to happen on Memorial Day Weekend. I told my co-workers about it and demanded that we at least go out that night and try to meet some sailors. They agreed. I told my boss, and her eyes hazed over in a wave of nostalgia. “Oh, that sea of white uniforms,” she said.

I met up with my co-workers in Times Square where we were spotting sailors left and right. Our boss had recommended that we find a bar on the west side. We walked into a couple, but nowhere did we spot the sea of sailors we were looking for. One of my co-workers suggested that we try going to Chelsea. As we arrived in the neighborhood and ascended the stairs of the subway, we were disappointed to find absolutely NO sailors. We meandered to a little bar, pictured above. At this point, it was just me and one other co-worker. We sat down at a table and were quickly joined by two young guys. One of them zeroed in on me which I was okay with because he was very cute. Within five minutes though, I found out he was also a huge asshole. Some of his awesome flirting lines:

“You are of no worth to society.”
“I asked you where you were from, just f****** answer my question.”
“This ship we call America? It’s sinking, baby.”

At one point, I just told him he was an asshole. He told me that I was actually the asshole and bet me $20 that I couldn’t remember his name. Well, I did remember his name, and he didn’t give me the $20!! He bought be a beer instead, but I wanted my $20. At the end of the night, he asked for my phone number so we could “do this again, but just the two of us.” I laughed (not out of cruelty, out of incredulity) and told him absolutely not.

“I know I’ve been an asshole, but I’m just kind of drunk. I’d be better sober. I promise,” he pleaded with me. I felt bad for a moment, but I refuse to reward bad behavior and stuck to my guns.

So sad. No sailors. All I wanted was to be able to wear one of their sailor hats for a while and flirt with one. Sad face.