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Project 365 (er 334?) : An Astute Reflection

6 Jul

“I’ve loved. I’ve laughed and cried.
I’ve had my fill, my share of losing.
But now as tears subside, I find it all
so amusing.

To think: I did all that.
And may I say, not in a shy way.
Oh no. Oh no not me.
I did it my way.”

It’s all over!

After a year, and sadly only 334 pictures, my project has ended. I thought about carrying on in order to reach the eponymous number of 365, but I am BURNT OUT on this photos every day thing. And I am ready to live my life undocumented (publicly that is, my journal is still my best friend).

I learned a lot through this project. I’m not a huge fan of photography. My camera is not the best. Taking pictures outside always results in a better picture. I know a lot of people who can take everyday things and create beautiful photographs. I am not one of them. As I’ve said before, I love visual art, but I have never had a natural talent for it.

It’s been a ROUGH year, and I’m not going to lie, I can’t even look through some of those old photos, too many mixed emotions. It’s hard to look at the truly old ones and feel the hopes and expectations I had for the rest of the year. I never even briefly thought I would end up where I am at this moment. Even harder to swallow is rewinding my life two years and seeing how differently things have turned out, how my plans changed, evolved, and skewed. I look at that period in my life and feel like I had a path, which I have strayed so far from. I feel like a little lost lamb in a very big, confusing pasture.

So in summation, this is not the end of posting on this site, but I still haven’t figured out what to do with this space yet. I have so many things to situate and figure out in my life now that some of the dust of the chaotic last couple of months has settled. I think this is an exciting time in my life, because I am going to completely rebuild my life. Nothing to stop me from chasing the dreams I once had. I feel like Julie Andrews in “The Sound of Music” where she steps out of the convent and heads off toward her new life with the Von Trapp family. She always wanted adventure. She always wanted to see new things and chase her dreams. In that amazing song, “I Have Confidence,” she says that this is what she wanted, this is what her life was meant to be. She stops at that low wall overlooking Salzburg, puts her guitar down and wonders why she’s terrified.  Julie and I are here to tell you, it’s fucking scary, ya’ll! It would be easy to settle into a job that pays well (and insures), a relationship that provides support, buy a car, adopt a dog, pay the down payment on a house, take the cruise, raise the kids. And I could be happy. Millions upon millions of people are. But, me, I’ve always been the one to head to Seattle at 18, to major in Creative Writing, to follow my hopeful heart across the country, to stay in a big city. And , let me tell you, it has all been scary. But what I can say is that it hasn’t been boring, and it hasn’t been ordinary. I haven’t a clue what comes next, but I am ready to throw myself into it, because I know that at least it won’t be dull. I will hopefully document some of it here and keep everyone up to date on what is happening in my life.

But for now, the camera has been put in a drawer, and I am trying to carve out the life I’ve always wanted.

 

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June 21, 2011

6 Jul

My friend Harry had an extra ticket to a Mets game and invited me to come along. We lost horribly, but I did enjoy the awesome Jason Bay triple! During the seventh inning stretch, the Mets apple ascends. I am a fan, but not nearly as big a fan as I am of the singing baseball at the Reno Aces stadium. There’s something endearing about that inflatable, bouncing thing.

June 20, 2011

4 Jul

GRACIE!!!! The cutest little puppy! Her mom was having the apartment sprayed for cockroaches. So Gracie came to spend the day with us, and she is far too cute to be in those scary metal cages with all those twitching post-surgery dogs. I brought her up to the front desk to be my assistant for the day. This job is definitely not the last I’ll ever have, but some days I love it.

In the background is about 70% of the files we have. Two things about this. ONE. This is why I get an attitude when clients call and say either “It’s me” or “This is Lily’s mom.” We have close to 6,000 active clients. I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I also don’t know your pet’s entire medical history. These people honestly expect this amount of information to be sufficient. I think because they are wealthy, they honestly believe that the rest of the world is at their beck and call. TWO. Is this 1983? How are a group of successful veterinarians so technologically inept? I have been actively dragging my employers into the 21st century with baby steps that I am practically forcing on them. When they ask me to get them the binders of allergy serum orders, I open up the categorized Word document and tell them that yeah, this computer thing is here to stay.

“Wow, this is so much easier to use and organize!” They often say to me.

I deserve a raise. Just sayin’.

June 19, 2011

3 Jul

The internet that I had been stealing at my apartment suddenly became password protected. So I spent this Sunday at my old haunt, Think Coffee. I still think they have the best Iced Coffee in the city. I’ve spent some quality time with former co-workers that no longer work there. But I hadn’t been in to see the people that still work there for a long time, so I also spent a lot of time at the espresso bar catching up with everyone. I always mean to hang out there more but have been so busy the last couple of months that it never worked out.

June 18, 2011

3 Jul

Kayla and I hit up the “Museum of New York” in Lower Harlem. They had this amazing documentary about the evolution of New York (or Little Amsterdam as it was originally known before the British kicked the Dutch out). It was interesting to see exactly how New York became such a center of industry, culture, wealth, immigration, etc. It kind of all boils down to the setting of regular shipping schedules between New York and London. Now I know!

June 17, 2011

2 Jul

Oh yes, it’s ladies night, and the feeling’s right. I went out with my co-workers on this rainy Friday. We got manicures and cocktails at Beauty Bar, then headed out to another bar around the counter. Mercedes, who recently moved here from the Philippines, kept buying round after round of Malibu Rum shots, while shouting “This is what life in Manila is like!”

At one point “Billy Jean” came on the stereo, and I confessed that I knew the entire dance by heart. Junie, who is pictured to the left, also knew it by heart. We cleared some room in the bar and bust out our moves. Unfortunately Fortunately, someone grabbed my camera and documented the entire thing. Oddly enough, this is the least embarrassing picture of the bunch.

June 16, 2011

2 Jul

I made this for my photoshop class. We had to do a composite. Like I’ve said before, I really don’t have much of a knack for visual art. I LOVE art, but I just can’t create visually pleasing things. So this was what I came up with. I call it “Puppy Garden.” For some reason, my teacher thought it was hilarious and decided to use it as an example to show the class, then point at me to congratulate me on a job well done. I hadn’t really talked to many of the people in my class, so this was their introduction into who I am. Soooooo, when our next assignment was to make the cover of a novel about our life, I threw any shame I had out the window and made this:

Why, yes, I am the coolest photoshopper ever.

June 15, 2011

1 Jul

Some friends and I went to dinner in Midtown-ish area. As we left and headed back to the subway, we saw this across the span of city streets. I know I just posted a sunset picture but c’mon! How could the other pictures I took that day possibly compare.

June 14, 2011

30 Jun

I went to a UW alumni “happy hour” in Midtown. I had only been to one before. I always feel out of place, but then a beer or two sets in, and everything becomes peachy keen.

June 13, 2011

27 Jun

Not the crispest picture I’ve ever taken. But, you gotta love that summer light! I work late on Mondays, but it is still nice to leave work and still experience some vestigial sun rays.