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26 Before 26: Ride a Segway

23 Jun

In my 26th year of life, I am attempting 26 new things that I’ve never done before. Full list here.

Look at me in this picture. Do I have on a hot pink helmet? Yes. Am I standing upon one of the goofiest modern inventions? Yes. Do I look like a fool? Absolutely.

But is the Boston weather behind me practically perfect? Yup. Am I knocking another thing off my 26 before 26 list? Hooray, I am! Do I have the biggest grin on my face, ever? Of course! That’s the smile of someone having the time of her life.

Segways. Where do I start? This was so much fun. If you haven’t ridden one, I highly, highly recommend it. My sister, who accompanied me, was initially skeptical and a bit incredulous that she was spending a Sunday afternoon doing this. But I think she would agree that it was pure fun.

For some reason, when I thought about riding a Segway, I had my heart set on doing it in Boston. A year ago when I was visiting, my sister and I were waiting for a table at The Barking Crab, I saw a touristy, middle-aged couple, fanny packs and all, getting a private Segway tour of the city. I don’t know why I was so taken by those crazy machines, but I certainly was.

It’s all about balance. It feels a little awkward at first, and I would occasionally find myself accidentally moving backwards. But about 15 minutes in, I got my Seg-legs on, and it felt completely natural. Oh, it feels awesome to go 12 miles per hour by simply leaning forward. And dare I say it, but I was good! There was one lady in our tour group who kept running into the curb or running into other people. Amateur.

I felt like a celebrity. Everywhere we went, Copley Square, Beacon Hill, Boston Commons, crowds of people would whoop and holler at us. So many iphones flashing at me and my sexy red Segway. My sister even got cat-called from a car while we were making a left turn.

At the end of the tour, our guide took us to a concrete landing next to the water where we had 15 minutes to play around. We sped from one end to the other, did twirls around each other, and did a little synchronized Segway dancing.

What a day. What a day. One day, when I have so, so much money, I will certainly buy one, and hopefully be on par with the most famous Segway owner of all.

26 Before 26: Go on a Wine Tasting

1 May

The menu for the night.

In my 26th year of life, I am attempting 26 new things that I’ve never done before. Full list here.

This one fell right into my lap. Since coming to New York, I have been fairly active in my alumni group. This has led me to a Pac-12 alumni group, made up of alumni from the larger, West coast schools.

They organize a wine tasting two, maybe three times a year at a fancy Murray Hill restaurant that some alumni’s family owns. It’s an amazing deal, and I was excited to see my Pac-12 friends. Pac-12 softball is gearing up, and I dearly love playing with them in Central Park, then getting rather sloshed at a sports bar in the Upper West Side.

I always thought of a wine tasting as touring some countryside, swirling wine in glasses, sipping it gently, trying to distinguish notes. Maybe that’s how they do it in Napa (I really have no idea), but in New York, we through them back. All of the wines were bottomless. They had waiters walking around filling our wine glasses. Like filling ALL our wine glasses from ALL the courses.

In my early sobriety, I was taking this wine tasting rather seriously, but by first course I didn’t even know what I was drinking, just that the wine was ever-flowing. I was kind of listening to the wine-guy who was talking about special grapes in South Africa. But sitting here in my jammies two weeks later, I can’t tell you a single thing about those wines. Except that they were white. But I didn’t need no sommelier to tell me that.

I like white wines. A controversial opinion, apparently, as most wine-snobs I’ve met in my life have scoffed at such a statement. But I like what I like. I also like fake maple syrup over real maple syrup. Sue me.

Funnily enough, my favorite course/pairing was dessert. Feast your eyes on this beaut…

Mango Mousse with Amarula Cream Liquer

Honestly, I wish there had been five courses of this. It was fantastic. I was certainly not listening to wine-man at this point. All I could really think was “cake cake cake cake cake cake booze cake cake cake…” It was like being a kid and having to wait for your parents to light the candles before you can eat your birthday cake. I’m infamous in my family for prematurely licking the frosting off my birthday cake when I thought no one was looking. No one was looking, except the family friend who was videotaping me. Shame.

To sum up my wine tasting experience, it was a variety of delicious booze. It was an experience akin to most of my weekend excursions. Maybe I didn’t do the experience right? Maybe I should have paid more attention to what I was tasting. I was looking through one of my notebooks the other day, and I found something I had written down last fall.

“I tend to devour, but I am looking for someone to teach me a thing or two about savoring.”

Well, obviously, I have not learned my lesson. But there are certainly more wine tastings in my future.

26 Before 26: Drink an Old Fashioned

24 Apr

In my 26th year of life, I am attempting 26 new things that I’ve never done before. Full list here.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a beer and whiskey girl through and through. I keep a nice big bottle of Maker’s Mark on my desk, and the majority of the time my drink orders are either beer, Manhattan, Whiskey Ginger Ale, or Maker’s on the rocks. So it comes as a surprise to a lot of people that I have never had an Old Fashioned. So close to my beloved Manhattan, yet not quite.

People also find it surprising that it took me so long to knock this off the list. After all, I go out for drinks quite a bit. I frequent cocktail bars, and an Old Fashioned isn’t an obscure drink. When it comes to my list though, I have many lovely friends who see it and immediately put claims down on some of the things. So I’ve held out on a lot, saving them for certain people, certain times of year, certain events. But time’s a-wastin’, and I have a pretty hefty list on my hands.

But one of my oldest and dearest friends, Danguole, was coming to New York for a visit, and she laid claim to this one. Only because I love her so, I reserved it for her.

So D and I went bar hopping around the city. I decided to take her to Beauty Bar where for $10 you get a cocktail and a basic manicure. We plop down at the bar, and I announce that we want two Old Fashioneds and two manicures. The burly man behind the counter let out an overdramatic grunt, curled himself up into a ball behind the bar and started complaining that he couldn’t remember how to make an Old Fashioned. I felt bad and showed him the recipe on my phone, but he scoffed at me and sulked off to grab some glasses. He was the most pouty tattooed, 300+ pound man I have ever encountered, and when he plopped the drinks in front of us, our jaws were kind of on the ground.

Beauty Bar "Old Fashioned"?

Admittedly I have never had an Old Fashioned before, but what’s it doing in a martini glass? Why is it pink? Was that a Vodka bottle I saw him pouring into the shaker? D, who has more experience with the Old Fashioned than me, confirmed my suspicions. It was not an Old Fashioned. Not at all. Not even close. We don’t know what it was.

So after getting our manicures from two heavily coked-out beauticians (it was a weird and interesting night indeed), we headed to a couple of other bars, eventually landing at Raines Law Room.

Raines is one of my favorite bars in the city. It’s a speakeasy, but not too speakeasy. No real gimmicks, just a dimly lit bar with dashing bartenders and amazing cocktails.

Raines Old Fashioned.

Now that’s more like it. It was fantastic. It had that good punch of whiskey, tempered by citrus notes. We ordered a couple more fancy shmancy cocktails and eventually ended up at a dive bar with some not so fancy shmancy drinks. But the night of my first Old Fashioned was one to remember.

26 before 26: Attend a Meditation Seminar

4 Apr

Shunko-In Buddhist Monastery in Kyoto

In my 26th year of life, I am attempting 26 new things that I’ve never done before. Full list here.

Upon arriving in Kyoto, the man at the front desk of our Ryokan gave us a couple of English language magazines about different events and sites around the city. I quickly saw an ad for an English language meditation class at a Buddhist temple/monastery. I was hesitant, because the ad emphasized that the priest was American educated, and the picture of the class they provided showed all white people meditating. Every time I ran into white people in Japan, I felt frustrated, like they were ruining my experience. Perhaps they felt the same way upon encountering me. But the thing is, in a country of millions upon millions upon millions of Asians, if you find yourself in an area with 90% white people, you are doing something wrong.

Anyways, I decided to go for it. Meditation class was on my list after all, and any class I would take in New York would be just as WASPy. Brett wasn’t really interested, so I ventured across Kyoto myself eventually finding the temple grounds. The temple where the class was to take place was in a larger park with shrines, statues, more temples. It was a peaceful place to spend a morning, and as Brett and I got used to saying on our trip, “Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, rocking everywhere.”

The class was an hour long, and, as expected, it was full of unsavory tourists. But Buddhism speaks a lot to inner peace and blocking out negative thoughts. So I just went right on ahead and blocked them out. The monk talked to us for about half an hour about the basic tenets of Buddhism. Impermanence, the middle way, and emptiness. It was rather enlightening (pardon the pun!). Once he gave us some of these things to think about, he lit an incense stick and asked us to use the techniques he discussed to meditate for 15 minutes.

It went well…at first. I focused on my breathing. I let my mind wander up and down, left and right, releasing negative thoughts and focusing on myself. Then, my leg went numb. Sitting in that lotus position is not very comfortable. Fun fact, this is why yoga was invented. Buddhist monks wanted to stretch and increase circulation before sitting down to meditate for long periodsof time. I, however, did not do yoga before the meditation, and at some point all I could think about was my numb leg. I tried to refocus on my breathing on my inner self. Nope. Leg. Pain. Needles. No blood circulation. At last when he rang the bell to pull us out of the meditation, I threw my legs in front of me, wobbling them up and down.

Deep meditation is a skill to be practiced and honed. Perhaps I should take a yoga class or two. My monk told us to think of meditation as a prevention, not a cure. It’s a way to strengthen your mind in order to deal with trying times. Despite my leg failure, I did leave the temple feeling elated, relaxed, refreshed, able to take in the day more clearly.

I have been studying Buddhism for roughly the last two years. I found it at a difficult point in my life where I was losing myself. It helped me find my way back, and it’s made me much happier and calmer. Being in Japan only emphasized how much more I want to study the philosophy. The Japanese are so gracious, giving, and selfless. It’s admirable, and I believe a reflection of their religious history.

26 Before 26: Read a book by David Foster Wallace

18 Mar

In my 26th year of life, I am attempting 26 new things that I’ve never done before. Full list here.

I know. I know. The David Foster Wallace book to read is “Infinite Jest.” It’s the one prominently displayed at just about every bookstore, and it is supposed to be all smart and wonderful and interesting and mind-blowing. But I’m going to be completely honest with you. It’s a huge book. Rephrase that. It’s a massive book. I do the majority of my reading on the subway and on my lunchbreak. I carry by book du jour in my purse and pull it out when I have a free moment. Holding that gargantuan book in my hands was making my shoulder hurt. So I opted for the more dainty “Brief Interviews with Hideous Men.” And I mean, what a title, eh?

It’s a book of short stories. Many of those stories are part of a series of interviews with men about their dating habits, sexual habits, fantasies. There are also a variety of short stories on other non-hideous-men related subjects. My overall feeling on this book is meh.

For one thing, it was kind of depressing. A lot of his characters are depressed, depraved, corrupt, conniving. There are those types out there, but it doesn’t really do my soul good to spend hours reading about them. I’d end up putting the book down and feeling awfully cynical which is something I try to avoid.

Secondly, his writing is often experimental. Perhaps this is why some people like him so much? Because he’s all outside the box and whatnot? For instance, there was one short story called “Octet.” The story is broken into eight sections, with lengthy quiz-style questions that are unanswerable. Questions about Man X and Man Y and their friendship and how things are affected by outside influences. At some point, DFW breaks down and talks about how he, as a writer, is failing with this piece. It is so shockingly bare and self-conscious, and it was kind of a cop out. I don’t know. I guess it felt like he was trying so desperately to impress the reader with his “unique” writing. That kind of thing always rubs me the wrong way.

I do feel like I should give DFW a second chance though. It’s apparent that he is a good writer, and he is smart. I really should read “Infinite Jest.” Now that I have a Kindle, there is no more need to fear the damage the book will cause my shoulder. My Kindle is as light as a feather. It’ll be a while till I get to “Infinite Jest” though. I just loaded it up with books to help pass the time on that 16 hour flight I’m taking in 5 days.

26 Before 26: Eat an Oyster

9 Mar

 

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In my 26th year of life, I am attempting 26 new things that I’ve never done before. Full list here.

A couple of weeks ago (my blogging timeliness has really fallen by the wayside, folks), a couple of friends and I ventured out to a new cocktail bar in Brooklyn called the Bellwether. I subscribe to an email list in New York called Thrillist. They send out daily emails of amazing places to eat and drink in New York. They have never steered me wrong. The email I received from them about Bellwether was entitled “Oysters in the Front, Party in the Back.” I had found the place to try my first oyster.

The neighborhood we walked through was a bit sketchy. Abandoned lots, warehouses, then (as is Brooklyn’s style) a bunch of cute, trendy bars and restaurants. When we walked into Bellwether, I saw behind the bar, alongside the requisite bottles of alcohol, was a section of the bar on ice, full of oysters. We ordered our drinks (I opted for my standby Manhattan), and I ordered the oyster platter. There were three varieties on the plate, and as the bartender told me them, I nodded along pretending to know the difference, but actually had no idea what she was talking about. I think one of the varieties was from Martha’s Vineyard? Fun fact. It was only a couple of years ago that I learned that Martha’s Vineyard is not a vineyard in Napa Valley. Nope. Not at all.

The oysters were lovely and tasted like eating gooey, mucousy ocean. I liked the sauces that were paired with it, and it was an interesting experience to eat something that was so oceany. I had one of those synesthesia moments, like how Chai tastes like Christmas to me. Christmas doesn’t have a flavor. Oceans aren’t edible. But it’s that in-the-moment undefinable knowledge that those two things must be somehow linked. Oysters are like slurping ocean!

That being said, I didn’t love them. I didn’t dislike them either. I think the whole chilled seafood thing threw me for a loop, and I felt awkward slurping them. After all, it was such a nice little cocktail bar, and I felt like I wasn’t using my proper table manners. I liked them though and am anxious to try some of the other more legendary oyster bars in New York.

26 Before 26: Take a Pole Dancing Class

26 Feb

In my 26th year of life, I am attempting 26 new things that I’ve never done before. Full list here.

My friend Junie and I have been talking about taking a pole dancing class for a long time. We even bought Groupons a couple of months ago. However, our schedules just never seemed to align, and the couple of times we registered for classes, they were cancelled because of weather.

Junie is going through a rough time, and earlier in the week, she came out of the bathroom, drying her eyes. She sat down at her computer and solemnly declared, “This Friday, we pole dance.”

I am there for my friends. If you are going through a rough time, I am at your disposal. I take pride in being there for the important people in my life, because they have proven to be there for me. So if I must pole dance to help a friend out…I must pole dance.

First of all, pole dancing isn’t stripping. At no point were clothes removed, and we were all in tank tops and shorts. It wasn’t as much cardio as I would have liked, but it definitely made my muscles burn. It was an introductory class, and the teacher taught us a quick little routine. Everyone felt a little silly doing some of the moves, but when she put the music on, it became a bit easier to lose inhibitions and have fun with it. I LOVED the head rolls (the easiest part). While walking around the pole, you essentially flip your hair around in a seductive way.

Our instructor was incredible, and when she danced the routine, she looked unbelievably confident and sexy. I want to have that level of confidence in myself. I spent most of the routine trying to get my feetwork right and to follow the beat. (By the way, “Cream” by Prince is probably the best confidence-boosting song I’ve heard of late. It’s been on repeat on my ipod.)

“You’re so cool, everything you do is success,
Make the rules, then break them all ’cause you are the best.”

Toward the end of class, she gave us an introductory lesson on the two most difficult parts of pole dancing, spinning and climbing. I had a rough time with the spins, mainly because they rely so heavily on upper body strength of which I have none. But climbing, I’m on it. Literally. Once I figured out that it was all in the thighs, I popped myself up about two feet off the ground. I could hear Junie whooping at me. I followed the instructors directions, let go of the pole, and arched my back, holding on just by my legs. I. felt. hot.

Junie was incredible. She was the most confident one there, and I was so happy to help her get out of her own head for a while.

We have our next class next week.

26 Before 26: Cook a Fish Dish

6 Feb
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Drinking wine out of mugs? You betcha.

In my 26th year of life, I am attempting 26 new things that I’ve never done before. Full list here.

Thursday night, Brian and I made plans to get together to watch the new season of RuPaul’s Drag Race. A week or so ago, we spent an evening drinking wine and eating Oreos, watching previous seasons on Netflix. The show is awesome. It’s hilarious and extremely low budget. After our respective bottles of wine were finished, we started writing down our favorite RuPaul quotes.

“Sharpen your claws, baby. It’s a jungle out there!”

Thanks Ru!

So for this week, it was my turn to host the viewing. I decided to use this opportunity to knock another item off my list. After all, I have 24 items left and only 8 months. Where is this year going?!

For Christmas my mother bought be Julia Child’s “Mastering the Art of French Cooking.” It’s the most thorough cookbook I’ve ever used,which is great because I have no experience with French cooking. I decided to cook the simplest dish: Fish Filets Poached in White Wine (Filets de Poisson Poches Au Vin Blanc). My Julia recommended using Sole, so I went to a fancy grocery store near my office. They had it….at $28/pound! Not. Happening. So I went with the Hake, which was still pricey at $12/pound, but this was my first ever fish dish!

I have to hit four different grocery stores in my neighborhood to come up with the various ingredients necessary, and I finally get home to start cooking. I had skimmed over the recipe beforehand, but now that I read it more carefully, I realized that the recipe did not include the sauce. I thought it was fish in a white wine sauce, but no. I hollered a profane word and looked through the cookbook for the simplest sauce I could fine. I decided on a basic white sauce (Sauce Bechamel), and I ran to the corner store to grab some flour to thicken the roux.

Brian arrived in the nick of time, and I put him to work stirring. Cooking is not a difficult task, but when you become over ambitious, like moi, you find yourself trying to saute brussel sprouts, monitor the poached fish, and stir a roux to the appropriate level of thickness.

It all came together, though. The brussel sprouts were amazing, just due to the fact that brussel sprouts in a shit-ton of garlic and butter will always be amazing. The fish was perfectly cooked, although I found a couple of bones in the piece I ate, and the roux was a bit bland. I think I needed more salt/pepper/seasoning/something. But, honestly, neither of us got food poisoning the next day, and we enjoyed our meal. So, sweet success!!

We shared a bottle of Merlot that a vendor gave me at work, split a sleeve of Oreos for dessert and watched the drag queens argue and fight. As Ru would say, “You’ve got to know who you are, and flaunt it. All. The. Time.”

26 Before 26: Paint Something Ceramic

18 Jan

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In my 26th year of life, I am attempting 26 new things that I’ve never done before. Full list here.

I’ve said it before. I love art, but I am not an artistic person. I love to paint, draw, play instruments. I am, sadly, not good at any of these things, but it sure doesn’t stop me from enjoying them.

Despite having grown up in the suburbs, I never had the opportunity to go to one of those ceramic places and paint a mug or a bowl or whatever kids these days are painting.

I did, however, sculpt a ceramic horse in 8th grade art. I loved/love horses and worked really hard on my homage. THEN, before my teacher put it in the kiln, some anonymous asshole attached a large ceramic penis to it. Someone RUINED my horse. I have never gotten over this. I still carry my scars from middle school. Middle school was just the absolute worst, wasn’t it?

Moving on. I visited my family in Reno over the holidays. It was great to see my family and hang out with some of my oldest friends, but I quickly remembered why I was never particularly happy in Reno. There’s not a whole lot going on. So one afternoon, my mother indulged me and took me to paint ceramic stuff and knock another thing off my list.

Painting is so relaxing, and the time flew as I carefully layered the paint coats. It didn’t come out perfect, but I still looked down at it adoringly.

Best part, now I have a bowl! I have managed to make it through my adult life mooching off of everybody else’s kitchen supplies. Now my tally is up to 4 mugs, a wok, a pasta strainer, a french press, a cheese grater, a large knife, an apple slicer…and a bowl! Look who’s all grown up.

#22: Ask for a Raise

29 Dec

I bought my dog, Chaucer, a winter coat to match mine. New York has changed me.

I am going to count this, because it was difficult, terrified me, and I got something great out of it.

About a month ago, my dear friend Kayla told me about a position opening at her company. It was another receptionist position, but it paid better, the hours were stable, and it would be a lot less drama than the veterinary clinic. After numerous interviews (one in which a CEO showed me youtube videos of Kurt Cobain. AWKWARD!), I stood in a room with a bunch of suits shaking my hand and offering me a pretty tempting pay increase. As they escorted me out, I glanced at my new reception desk, where my predecessor was alone, staring deeply into her computer, doing data entry and occasionally picking up the phone.

“This is a good opportunity,” I told myself, trying to awaken the excitement butterflies that usually float around in my stomach when I am offered a new job.

I returned to the vet clinic for the rest of my shift that day. I walked in the door, and a gaggle of puppies ran up to me wagging their tails. Once I’d clocked in, I headed to our reception desk where Ace of Base was playing, and my co-workers were recounting their weekend. I felt at home. The noise, the chaos, the animals. It makes me happy.

But my life felt stagnant. My job was becoming mundane. I was sometimes given special projects, but for the most part, I answer phones and process invoices. I have a very active mind. Something I’ve learned about myself in the last year is that if I am not being challenged, if I am not learning, I become restless and unhappy. So it had become clear to me that I couldn’t stay where I was, but I wasn’t happy about the opportunity before me.

The clinic is currently understaffed as far as technicians go. A couple of them have quit, and the head technician, Jose, is having a difficult time finding replacements.

“They’ve had almost no replies to the ad,” my co-worker Junie told me. The wheels in my head were turning.
“They’ve trained staff before for their position, right?” I asked.
Junie put down her pen and turned to look at me. “Yeah, they have…”
“But mainly the kennel staff?”
“Yeah?”
“Would they ever train a receptionist?”
“Girl! I knew you were going to say that!” she said with a smile. “You need to talk to Dr. S about that.”

But I was too scared for that. So once it got quiet in the office, I found myself back in treatment, where Jose was going over the technician schedules trying to cover the holes. I nervously stood by all the gifts our clients had given us, quietly shoving cookies and Godiva chocolates in my face. I finally mosied up to Jose, mouth still brimming with sweets.

“Still trying to find a technician?”
“Yeah,” he said poring over the papers in front of him. “It’s hard to find reliable people.”
“Well…” I shoved another cookie in my mouth. “I’m…kind of…interested.” I mumbled.
He turned to me with an enormous smile. “You are? With the bloods and the catheters and the math and the surgery?”
I nodded, smiling stupidly.
“Well I’d be happy to train you. But you have to talk to Dr. S first.”

The next day I was shaking nervously. I almost backed out. But Junie threatened to shove me into Dr. S’s office. So I took a deep breath and cornered him in the hallway.

“Can I talk to you about something?”
He nodded and ushered me into his office with a grimace. He plopped into his chair, and I stood before him, terrified. I blurted out my plan, my idea. I was using my hands emphatically as I spoke, and I couldn’t look at him. I finally finished my rambling and looked at him. He had a huge smile on his face.
“Wow. I had no idea this is something you were interested in. I don’t know if this is too big a question, but what are your plans for your life?”
“I don’t really know. I just know I love working with these animals, and I find myself looking through the charts and eavesdropping on the exams. I need a challenge, and I think I’d be good at this.”
“I think you’d be great at it. You know how I feel about you. You are capable of just about anything, and if you think you might want to become a vet, you’d be a damn good one. I’d love to move you into a medical position that could help you get into a good vet school, and we’d be there to help you through the pre-med.”
We discussed it a bit more, and I left his office beaming with excitement.
As I walked down the hall, he hollered after me, “Don’t ever scare me like that again. I thought you were going to tell me you were moving back to Warshington or something.”

So in one week, I begin my training. It’ll be a gradual transition from reception to technician, and there is no pay increase at the moment. In fact, technicians usually require an associates degree, so the fact that I’m getting paid training without the educational requirements, and once I’m a full-time technician, a pay increase will come.

I am still writing. I am still applying to MFA programs. I’m not sure if in seven years I’ll be a creative writing professor, a doctor of veterinary medicine, a mole person, or a poet in Paris. I just know that this opportunity is too good to pass up, and I feel so excited about it all.