26 Before 26: Paint Something Ceramic

18 Jan

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In my 26th year of life, I am attempting 26 new things that I’ve never done before. Full list here.

I’ve said it before. I love art, but I am not an artistic person. I love to paint, draw, play instruments. I am, sadly, not good at any of these things, but it sure doesn’t stop me from enjoying them.

Despite having grown up in the suburbs, I never had the opportunity to go to one of those ceramic places and paint a mug or a bowl or whatever kids these days are painting.

I did, however, sculpt a ceramic horse in 8th grade art. I loved/love horses and worked really hard on my homage. THEN, before my teacher put it in the kiln, some anonymous asshole attached a large ceramic penis to it. Someone RUINED my horse. I have never gotten over this. I still carry my scars from middle school. Middle school was just the absolute worst, wasn’t it?

Moving on. I visited my family in Reno over the holidays. It was great to see my family and hang out with some of my oldest friends, but I quickly remembered why I was never particularly happy in Reno. There’s not a whole lot going on. So one afternoon, my mother indulged me and took me to paint ceramic stuff and knock another thing off my list.

Painting is so relaxing, and the time flew as I carefully layered the paint coats. It didn’t come out perfect, but I still looked down at it adoringly.

Best part, now I have a bowl! I have managed to make it through my adult life mooching off of everybody else’s kitchen supplies. Now my tally is up to 4 mugs, a wok, a pasta strainer, a french press, a cheese grater, a large knife, an apple slicer…and a bowl! Look who’s all grown up.

I’m going to Japan

15 Jan
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Celebration at Japadog

I received an email from the Seattle Mariners announcing their regular season opener at the Tokyo Dome against the Oakland A’s. I laughed to myself and thought about how awesome that would be. Brett and I had previously talked about traveling somewhere together, and the boy loves himself some Asia. So before I went to bed I forwarded the email to him, saying “Want to go with me?”

When I woke up the next morning, I had two emails in return. One saying simply “Holy shit. I seriously seriously would” and another “I honestly have the miles to do this.”

So over the next couple of days, we made some frantic phone calls to one another on our lunch breaks from work. The deadline to purchase the baseball tickets was fast approaching, but both of us were nervous to just dive in.

Then we just did.

He bought the baseball tickets. I booked my flight. I am going to Japan.

I have been wanting to visit Asia, especially Japan, since I took an amazing Japanese history class in college. I briefly attempted to teach myself Japanese a couple of years ago. Now it’s really happening! My credit card is pretty exhausted right now, but who cares.

Yesterday, to celebrate, Gian and I went to Japadog in the East Village. I got a hot dog with onions, cheese, and seaweed on top. The best part though is that you can flavor your french fries. Mine were wasabi flavored. Gian opted for the soy sauce, butter flavored fries, which were incredible. He had to slap my hand away a couple of times. I just couldn’t stop myself.

Holy shit, I’m going to Japan.

Highs and Lows

11 Jan

11-week-old Frenchie named Bailey

One of the most common reactions people have when I tell them that I work at a vet clinic is “Oh man, I could never do that. I love animals too much, and I could never deal with putting them to sleep.”

This is such a crazy response to me. I love animals, and I want to be around them. My answer is always a cheesy, “Well, it’s just the circle of life, ya know. You put a really great dog to sleep, and you feel sad, then a cute puppy comes in the door, and you remember how wonderful the world is.”

I worked 12 hours today, and my day started and ended with an adorable French Bulldog puppy named Bailey. Her owner had to go in to the hospital, so she is boarding with us. Throughout the day, somebody was always holding her, coddling her. I kept her up at the front desk for a while where she gnawed on a highlighter. It was so cute I thought my eyeballs were melting out of my head.

The day was fairly busy, and it was the first day that my new tech-in-training status was out in the open. I still work reception during the week, so there was a lot of teasing. As I carried a smelly stool sample into the lab, another receptionist said, “Aw, soon you’ll get to search poop for parasites.”

I smiled and shrugged, but what I wish I’d said was, “I’d rather deal with poop that people’s poopy attitudes!” And that’s the truth.

I ran to drop off some charts in Dr. S’s office when I passed Dr. G holding the Frenchie puppy. He placed the pup in my arms, and I held her while her nose got cleaned and she got a shot or two. I kissed her on the head, she licked my cheeks, I handed her back to a real tech and headed to the front desk.

Later, I was again walking through treatment when a scrubbed-up tech put a large bloody thing in my face.
“Oh God! What is that?” I shrieked.
“It’s the mass Dr. S just removed from that poodle! This will soon be your job!”
“Oh joy!”

Around 7, a man called the office. It was the owner of the poodle who had surgery.
“How’s my baby doing?”
“He’s doing great. They were able to take the mass out, and now he’s curled up in a ball napping.”
“Fantastic. We’ll talk to Dr. S. in the morning.”

The last appointment ran late. The dog had to be sedated to obtain some x-rays, and he was having a hard time waking up from the medications. I sat at the front desk with the Frenchie pup napping in my arms, reading a book on animal handling one of the vets lent me. At long last, the final appointment leaves. I return the pup to her cage and head to treatment to ask Dr. J if I can head home. A kennel staff runs towards me.
“Get Dr. S on the phone! Now! A dog is dying!” He turns around and runs into the back.
“Which one?!” I yell after him. But he’s gone. I run to the phone.
“Dr. S? There’s something wrong. They need to talk… for you to tell them… someone’s dying.” I connect the phones in the treatment area, standing there helpless as the poodle from the surgery before struggles for life.

“I need you to breathe for him,” Dr. J tells me. She quickly shows me how to use the machine, and I watch as my hands pump air into the tiny, fury body. All I can think about is how I had half an hour earlier told the owner that his dog was fine. Dr. J is taking bloods, x-rays, injecting meds, monitoring the heart. My mind is struggling to take it all in, understand what she is doing. I find myself envious of her expertise and anxious for the day when I have it as well.

Eventually Dr. J sighs.

“You can stop the breathing. He’s gone,” she tells me. I do and can’t look away from the lifeless body.

But at some point I do look away. I take a deep breath and decide to go home. As I leave, I stop by the pup’s cage. She looks up at me sleepily, and I whisper a goodnight.

It was a sad day, because someone’s best friend died. It was a happy day, because someone’s new puppy squirmed and snuggled with all of us. Maybe some people could never really work there. But for all the ups and downs, I love what I do.

New Year’s Resolutions

2 Jan

Brian and I all dressed up for the New Year. Stylin!

My New Year’s Eve was fantastic! We went to the Copacabana in Times Square which sounds like a crazy idea, but we were far enough removed from the crowds. Essentially we danced the night away!

I love New Year’s Resolutions, and I am shocked to realize I didn’t really make any last year. I guess I was in a strange place at the time anyway.

I wouldn’t go so far as saying that 2011 sucked, but it was definitely the most difficult year of my life. I recently read a list of questions to help one size up their year. I got really stuck on the question “Are you happier or sadder?” My initial answer was sadder. My year began with job woes, then breakup woes, then where am I going to live woes, then loneliness woes, sprinkle some dating woes, and mid-20s existential nonsense, and it was a rough year. I spent a lot of time crying. Way too much time crying.

But when I fully take stock of where I am now as opposed to where I was a year ago, I think I might actually be happier. I certainly feel as though I am on a better path. I’m finally in a job that feels worthwhile. I am pursuing my dreams with a new gusto. I have amazing friends, and I like my life right now. My trip to Seattle was a dream come true. My birthday was perfect. I’ve had wonderful experiences this year. Crazy, but I think I’m happier!

But still, 2011 can suck it! I am so ready for this new year, and I made TEN resolutions. If you think that’s a lot, check out Woody Guthrie’s list from 1942. I actually stole a couple of his.

  1. Write Every Day—– In any form really. A rant in my journal, a blog post, poems, short story. This year I want to commit to making it a part of my daily life.
  2. Meditate in the Morning—– I have very little control over the worry and the stress in my mind. I’ve read a lot about meditation, and it can help control thoughts and restore peace. So every day while I’m getting ready, I am going to force myself to have a clear mind.
  3. Don’t gossip—– I started doing this a couple of months ago, but I want to completely commit to it. By this I mean saying nothing harmful about anybody… like ever. It’s poisoning to the soul. If it’s something I wouldn’t say to someone’s face, it’s not something I should say at all.
  4. Exercise once a week—– Wishful thinking.
  5. Cook once a week—– I love cooking for myself, saving money, eating a delicious meal. It’s just that life sometimes gets in the way.
  6. Say yes more—– Fear took over my life last year, but I’m done being afraid to take the risks and just live my life. I also made this resolution years ago and had an incredible year doing things I never ever thought I’d have the courage to do. All by just saying yes.
  7. Small assignments—– I get so worried about the big picture. This is completely useless. Compared to where I was a year ago, my life is completely different, and my plans are completely different. So it is useless to become overwhelmed by “the plan.” From now on I’m just going to take baby steps towards what I want and not panic when life leads me elsewhere.
  8. Be here now—– This relates to the meditating and the small assignments. The past is past, and the future is unpredictable, so I just have to be happy in the moment and find home in the now.
  9. Look good—– I often go to work in glasses, jeans, t-shirt, hair in a ponytail. Nothing wrong with that. But when I take the extra 10 minutes in the morning to do my hair, or put on some eyeliner, I feel so much more confident and ready for the day. So, why the hell don’t I do it more often?
  10. Love everybody—– Pretty self-explanatory.

Oh, by the way, I LOVE YOU ALL!

#22: Ask for a Raise

29 Dec

I bought my dog, Chaucer, a winter coat to match mine. New York has changed me.

I am going to count this, because it was difficult, terrified me, and I got something great out of it.

About a month ago, my dear friend Kayla told me about a position opening at her company. It was another receptionist position, but it paid better, the hours were stable, and it would be a lot less drama than the veterinary clinic. After numerous interviews (one in which a CEO showed me youtube videos of Kurt Cobain. AWKWARD!), I stood in a room with a bunch of suits shaking my hand and offering me a pretty tempting pay increase. As they escorted me out, I glanced at my new reception desk, where my predecessor was alone, staring deeply into her computer, doing data entry and occasionally picking up the phone.

“This is a good opportunity,” I told myself, trying to awaken the excitement butterflies that usually float around in my stomach when I am offered a new job.

I returned to the vet clinic for the rest of my shift that day. I walked in the door, and a gaggle of puppies ran up to me wagging their tails. Once I’d clocked in, I headed to our reception desk where Ace of Base was playing, and my co-workers were recounting their weekend. I felt at home. The noise, the chaos, the animals. It makes me happy.

But my life felt stagnant. My job was becoming mundane. I was sometimes given special projects, but for the most part, I answer phones and process invoices. I have a very active mind. Something I’ve learned about myself in the last year is that if I am not being challenged, if I am not learning, I become restless and unhappy. So it had become clear to me that I couldn’t stay where I was, but I wasn’t happy about the opportunity before me.

The clinic is currently understaffed as far as technicians go. A couple of them have quit, and the head technician, Jose, is having a difficult time finding replacements.

“They’ve had almost no replies to the ad,” my co-worker Junie told me. The wheels in my head were turning.
“They’ve trained staff before for their position, right?” I asked.
Junie put down her pen and turned to look at me. “Yeah, they have…”
“But mainly the kennel staff?”
“Yeah?”
“Would they ever train a receptionist?”
“Girl! I knew you were going to say that!” she said with a smile. “You need to talk to Dr. S about that.”

But I was too scared for that. So once it got quiet in the office, I found myself back in treatment, where Jose was going over the technician schedules trying to cover the holes. I nervously stood by all the gifts our clients had given us, quietly shoving cookies and Godiva chocolates in my face. I finally mosied up to Jose, mouth still brimming with sweets.

“Still trying to find a technician?”
“Yeah,” he said poring over the papers in front of him. “It’s hard to find reliable people.”
“Well…” I shoved another cookie in my mouth. “I’m…kind of…interested.” I mumbled.
He turned to me with an enormous smile. “You are? With the bloods and the catheters and the math and the surgery?”
I nodded, smiling stupidly.
“Well I’d be happy to train you. But you have to talk to Dr. S first.”

The next day I was shaking nervously. I almost backed out. But Junie threatened to shove me into Dr. S’s office. So I took a deep breath and cornered him in the hallway.

“Can I talk to you about something?”
He nodded and ushered me into his office with a grimace. He plopped into his chair, and I stood before him, terrified. I blurted out my plan, my idea. I was using my hands emphatically as I spoke, and I couldn’t look at him. I finally finished my rambling and looked at him. He had a huge smile on his face.
“Wow. I had no idea this is something you were interested in. I don’t know if this is too big a question, but what are your plans for your life?”
“I don’t really know. I just know I love working with these animals, and I find myself looking through the charts and eavesdropping on the exams. I need a challenge, and I think I’d be good at this.”
“I think you’d be great at it. You know how I feel about you. You are capable of just about anything, and if you think you might want to become a vet, you’d be a damn good one. I’d love to move you into a medical position that could help you get into a good vet school, and we’d be there to help you through the pre-med.”
We discussed it a bit more, and I left his office beaming with excitement.
As I walked down the hall, he hollered after me, “Don’t ever scare me like that again. I thought you were going to tell me you were moving back to Warshington or something.”

So in one week, I begin my training. It’ll be a gradual transition from reception to technician, and there is no pay increase at the moment. In fact, technicians usually require an associates degree, so the fact that I’m getting paid training without the educational requirements, and once I’m a full-time technician, a pay increase will come.

I am still writing. I am still applying to MFA programs. I’m not sure if in seven years I’ll be a creative writing professor, a doctor of veterinary medicine, a mole person, or a poet in Paris. I just know that this opportunity is too good to pass up, and I feel so excited about it all.

Home

19 Dec

A Post Secret favorite

I’ve been meaning to write this since Thanks-
giving, but life got in the way.

The topic of home and family has always been touchy for me. While I would never claim that I had a rough childhood, I had one of upheaval. By the time I was 11, I had lived in five houses, attended five schools K-7, and I found myself in Nevada, far away from everything I knew. (Funny story, when my parents told us we were moving to Nevada, I started to cry and asked them if people spoke English there. I was 9.)

We settled in Reno, but it never felt like home. I never had an attachment to it. Living in Seattle felt like home, but I didn’t even really know what home felt like. It was like my Moby Dick. It was confusing and obtuse, and I ran away from Seattle thinking there was some other home out there for me. One of my biggest regrets in life.

I’ve written endlessly about the search for home, what it means. “I’ve been home, but I’ve never possessed it” is a phrase scrawled throughout my journals, notebooks, poems, short stories. I’ve always mourned my gypsy ways and considered myself “homeless.”

Over Thanksgiving, I had a revelation.

I was staying with my aunt and uncle in Philadelphia. I spent a lot of time with them growing up, but I hadn’t seen them much since our move out West. The holiday was spent with my aunt’s family who I am not related to and don’t know well. I felt out of place, and I yearned for a home and a large family of my own.

I was sitting in the sunroom with my 9-year-old cousin Frances (who I have come to ADORE) reading, snuggling with their Australian Shepherd Mix, Heidi. I was reading the book “Bird by Bird” by Anne Lamott which is AMAZING. It is a book about dedicating oneself to writing, but also using the lessons of writing to live a better life. I read this quote:

“We don’t have much truth to express unless we have gone into these rooms and closets and woods and abysses that we were told not to go in to. When we have gone in and looked around for a long while, just breathing and finally taking it in– then we will be able to speak in our own voice and to stay in the present moment. And that moment is home.”

I wrote in the margin, slowly and methodically, as the light bulb illuminated above my head, “Home is right here. Home is now.”

I realized I am not cursed by a peripatetic existence. I am blessed. I have homes all over. I have family in so many places.

In San Diego, sitting by their backyard firepit with Stephen, Nancy, and Brett sipping champagne on my birthday, listening to the rustle of palm trees, I was home. Sitting at a dark dive bar in Seattle with my oldest friends laughing harder that I ever laugh with anyone else, I was home. Smoking weed and stealing a grill in Boston with my sister, I was home. Watching Husky football with Gian and Brian, calling out to the waitress “A Pucket of BBR, and friendship fries!!” I was home. “Gone With the Wind” marathons with my mother, Chaucer curled up in the crook of my knee. Home. And there, with a snuggly dog, a charming cousin, and Bruce Springsteen posters on the wall, I was home.

I felt it so clearly at that moment.

I am soooooo lucky.

 

November 21, 2011

21 Nov

My grandpa passed away today.

Last Monday, the nurses at his retirement home found him in his apartment with a broken hip. After emergency surgery, it was obvious that his heart wasn’t up to the recovery process. My mother called this morning to tell me they had decided to take him off life support. It was clearly the best decision, and I know he would have wanted it. So when my phone rang this evening, and my mom’s picture flashed on the screen, I knew.

It’s not a tragedy. In fact, looking long and hard at it, it’s a blessing, a good thing. My religious views are muddled, but I’d like to think that somewhere his soul is reunited with my Grandma’s. He was tired. This is not a tragedy.

I still feel sad, like I’ve lost a dear friend whose company I always enjoyed. The world feels a little bit less without him in it.

Hey, I’m awkward!

20 Nov

I felt so stir-crazy after my GRE was over. I was all but rocking back and forth in the corner of my room muttering the definition of words like obsequious and numismatics. “Overly submissive and eager to please” and “Coin-collecting” for those of you intrigued. Come Friday, I needed to get out. I had a stitch and bitch planned with a friend who recently learned to knit, but I needed something a bit more. So after hours of stitching, bitching, sharing a bottle of wine she brought back from Npa, and listening to Prairie Home Companion (a.k.a. soundtrack to the best knitting sessions of your life) I headed out to meet up with Gian.

He wanted to do something divey, so I suggested Subway Inn, which is a dirty bar across the street from Bloomingdale’s on the Upper East Side. It’s sketchy sketchy sketchy, and right up my alley.

May I preface this story by saying that I was ENTIRELY sober. I consumed that half bottle of wine over a four hour period and was not drunk.

So Gian and I walk in to the bar. I look over at him to verify that he is in fact looking around and nodding. “This’ll do,” he solemnly stated.

We look around for a booth or a table or bar stools, but not much is available. It’s a rockin’ Friday night after all. We see a table in a dark corner underneath a speaker and decide to park there. It was dark. Gian sits down on his side of the table and starts taking off his coat. I go to sit down. What happens next is a story of SOBER confusion.

I lean to sit, I lean farther, farther. There is no chair there. But things have been set in motion that cannot be changed, and my butt plummets to the ground, as I make a noise something like “Woah, woah, woah, waaaaaaaaah!”

I am now sitting on a dirty bar floor, very confused and scrambling to get up. I slap my hand on the table and slowly pick myself up, no doubt completely red. Gian is trying to not laugh at me. “Where did you go just now?” I grab the chair that is sitting on his side of the table.

“It’s dark. I thought there was a chair. There was NO chair. Oh my God. Oh my God,” I am trying to gain my composure and ignore my pained behind. “Did anyone see me?” I ask him.

“Just those people at the bar,” he points to the bartender and a group of women laughing hysterically at me. I pull my fur hood over my head and lower my forehead to the table.

“I am so embarrassed I want to die.”

Moving on to Saturday! Brian and I had a lovely day. Brunch in the West Village and fantasy shopping in SoHo (pretending we can afford things we absolutely can’t.) We met up with Gian to watch the Husky Football Game and then took him on more fantasy shopping. We ended up in a shoe store where I tried on these ridiculous shoes.

They are all the rage in New York right now, but I am way too tall to wear them. They made me as tall as Brian who is 6’2″. I had a couple of awkward stumbles in them at first, then I started doing laps in them, pretending to catch a cab. The salesperson was nice enough to give me a matching bag to make the scenario more realistic. Everyone laughed at me which is fine, because I was in on the joke this time. Or maybe that salesman was hoping to up his commission.

Not this time, buddy. This girl is a starving writer who can’t afford Ho-shoes.

True Confessions

17 Nov

Okay, Interweb, I have to get something off my chest. This is a secret that I have kept my entire life. I have NEVER told anyone this. Are you feeling special yet?

It was so top-secret that I actually kind of convinced myself that it wasn’t true. But it is, and I’m not afraid to say it.

I, Chrissy, like…………MATH!!

I have been gung-ho the last week studying for the GRE which I took this afternoon. (My Chrissy-brain hurt now.) In studying, I mainly focused on the verbal reasoning preparation, seeing as I am applying for an MFA and math skills are absolutely not necessary. But I had dropped precious dollars on that GRE prep book, and I figured I may as well look over some of the “Quantitative Reasoning” questions.

It was frustrating at first. I found myself consistently throwing my pen up in the air saying things like “Confound it all!” and “This is so rebarbative!” I was practicing my vocab.

I haven’t taken a math class since I was 17, and I simply couldn’t remember how to find the circumference of a circle or what the formula for permutations was.

Like any good Type A girl, I started making lists of formulas and practicing the ones that I was rusty at. Before I knew it, I was having a blast solving all those problems. I felt so proud of myself.

Perhaps this secret is a two-parter. Because not only do I like math, I’m actually ALSO good at it. I’ve spent my childhood academic career pretending to hate math and finding it difficult. Truth is, there is something reassuring about being presented with a problem and having a straightforward way of solving it.

The other night I could feel an anxiety attack coming on as I was trying to fall asleep. My mind was racing, my heart pounding, I couldn’t breathe, tears were bracing themselves behind my eyes. I shot out of bed and started pacing, melting down. I saw my GRE book in the corner, picked it up and did a set of math problems. The emotions and fears that were overwhelming me slowly subsided as I lost myself in algebra and geometry. It’s almost as if I shut down the right side of my brain for a while. Like a computer overheating, I turned it off, let my left brain take over until I was calm enough to deal.

So there it is. I don’t know why I was so ashamed my whole life. Perhaps I didn’t want to be considered a nerd. But come on, I was as big a nerd as they come growing up. I remember being in Trigonometry in high school and sitting next to a gorgeous upperclassman who would ask me for help in class. I would eagerly oblige, but throw in a lot of “but I’m not sure” and “who knows if that’s right, though, this stuff is so confusing!” Twirl my hair, pretend to be a dumb girl. So silly. And now? I’ve come to embrace my inherent nerdiness. As an adult, I’d much rather be a nerd than cool. Maybe it made me feel less deserving of the title of writer that I’ve been holding so close to my heart for years. Writers shouldn’t like math!

This one does!

What would you do?

25 Oct

Recently at work, we’ve had a lot of clients (old and new) pay with checks that subsequently bounce. One particular client lives ABOVE us and owes us around $6000 of which we’ve seen none. We saved your stupid cat, just pay your bill, gooberface.

Management decided that the best way to curb this problem was to require anyone paying with a check to also serve up either a driver’s license or a credit card that we could keep on file. They posted a big sign about it and told us absolutely no exceptions. This is a wonderful idea in theory, but it’s easy to enact this sort of regulation when they are not the ones who will end up face to face with our…er….um…..entitled clientele. The front desk buttoned down the hatch and prepared for the shit storm.

We deal with difficult people day in and day out, it is just part of the job. I’ve developed a lot of techniques to manage the rising temperature of my blood. I apologize a lot for things I have no control over. I say I’m going to go speak to someone about it, step out into the back area, fume for a minute, come back out and tell them that circumstances cannot be changed. I’m a pro at keeping my cool in front of these people, but today I just couldn’t. I’m a bit stressed. I’m a bit tired of working so hard and being underpaid. Somedays, I just don’t care if they fire me. Today was that day.

I told this woman her balance, and she pulled out her checkbook. I took a couple of deep breaths, preparing for what was to come. “Maybe she won’t mind?” I reassured myself.

“So with that check, we just need a driver’s license or a credit card on file?”
“Is this some sort of joke?”
“It’s a new policy. We are asking all of our clients to do this.”
“I’ve been paying with checks for years. You think I’m trying to stiff you? YOU think I have no money?!”
“We are happy to accept the check. We are just asking everyone to have an ID on file as well.”
“Well…I…..NEVER! You cannot be serious?!?!?!”
“We just started doing this in the last couple of weeks.”
“I have been coming here for TA-WENTY years, and I knew Paul for SIIIIIX before that. Does that mean nothing to you? My loyalty as a customer?!?!”
“Well, I’ve worked here under a year. How the hell am I supposed to know how long you’ve been coming here?” Uh oh, Wilson (yeah, I call myself Wilson in my head during inner monologue) you are losing your cool. Hold on. Don’t….lose….it. “I haven’t even been alive as long as you’ve supposedly known them.” Not the answer the old hag was looking for.
“I am a dedicated customer, and you have the nerve to insult me. How am I supposed to feel about this deep insult? Do you understand how this feeeeels? What would you have done? What would YOU do in this situation?”

I was past the point of no return. This woman hated me. I was fuming at the absolute ridiculousness of the whole thing. This is the point in the story where if I was recounting to my friends I would have told them my response. My friends’ eyes would widen, “Noooooo, you said that!” I’d shrug my head sheepishly and say, “Nah, I apologized…. but I wanted to say it.” Not this time, Wilson. I actually said it this time.

“You know what. I probably would have just handed my ID over and saved myself five minutes instead of making such a fuss.” I said it in the most calm voice you can possible imagine, because damnit, that is what I would have done.

The woman huffed and puffed and stormed her way out with her frou-frou dog.

I felt AMAZING. Having acquired a bit of a New York attitude is not such a bad thing.