October 13, 2010

18 Oct

A word about the subways. I kind of like them. At first, I was none too pleased. But they have grown on me. As opposed to the buses I used to take in Seattle, they are much faster, and one can wait for the subway underground as opposed to on the side of the street, completely exposed to the elements. Like other cities, there are two subway systems, the local and the express. We live right by an express stop, but I work close to a local stop, so I often have to transfer to the six to get to work. I take the express to Union Square, then transfer to the local. Much faster this way. However, on my way back, I hop on the six and ride it the entire way home, which usually takes over half an hour. But I love it. I know exactly which cars will be empty, so I always get a seat, take out a book and don’t worry about it. It’s perfect reading time.

On this day, though, I had an interesting encounter. From time to time on the subways, people get on a car and start screaming really loud about the Apocalypse or about how they just got out of prison, but their mama taught them to be humble, so please give them some money. Most New Yorkers just ignore this and go back to playing on their iphones or turn up their Mp3 player. On this day, though, a short man with a very impressive mullet in a red jumpsuit with a red folder he held in front of his face with a toy microphone disrupted this system.”Happy Columbus week to you all! Yes, it is I, the one that brought you the EARTH ANGEL at the Columbus day parade. That glowing, golden EARTH ANGEL. I was the one that after seven days, tied to a cross, the oceans, Christopher Columbus saw the EARTH ANGEL. I am holy, and I am on a mission. I need to find three EARTH ANGELS to come with me to the holy land. I look in this subway car, and I think I see them hiding. Come with me EARTH ANGELS. Don’t be afraid. I will love and take care of you. But I have some requirements. You cannot be a day over 24, ladies. Now, HURRY, I only have one EARTH ANGEL.” I look over to see that he is carrying a shopping bag with what looks like a doll he might have bought at a toy store. I couldn’t see what type of doll, but I’m sure it had an angel theme. “Your disgusting New York ways are making me ill, because I am holy and cannot be tainted by this subway car. Surrender your EARTH ANGELS to me, or I will be forced to exit this subway car.” This is when everyone in the subway car began to laugh uproariously. The laughter continued to the next stop when the man got off the subway car to go find his earth angels.

I felt kind of old, not within range of the crazy man. 24 and no longer an earth angel.


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